I have been struggling this week with pain, anger and hate. I am beside myself with it and no matter how many times I repeat my blessings, which there are many, the gratitude seems to abate the negative feelings for only a short time, then my busy brain floats a thought into my consciousness and I am enraged all over again. My recent landlords refuse to give me back my deposit making bogus claims against me and my tenancy. The first day I wrote down all the hateful things I was feeling and then destroyed the paper, I responded via email with my honest opinion of them and the claims they were making and that helped. I am left with the decision of taking them to court, and walking out with a judgement against them, but no money, as I am sure the reason for this action is because they simply do not have the money to return to me and it sure does not help me pay my final bills and give me a bit of cash to work with as I look for a job. Today I have destroyed the tree I tend in her honor and all the ceramics I have at my disposal that remind me of her/them.
I simply don't have time for this in my life. I feel like a fool for trusting people and wonder what is wrong with me. Then I have to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me, I just have to be more cautious with my heart and my trust, everyone does not deserve it.
I am asking now for your loving prayers and good wishes to help me through this horrible time. I am clinging to every positive thought I can muster up and somehow I felt if I made a public plea to those I love the most, your loving energy will come to me and fill me up, leaving no room for any pain, anger and hate, only love. Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment